


if i liked being alone

by roswyrm



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Loss of Faith, Re-gain of faith!!, Religion, Team Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-11-18 08:21:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18116966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roswyrm/pseuds/roswyrm
Summary: Contrary to popular belief, Poseidon never left his cleric.And if you listen closely, (or at all) then you know that Aphrodite will never leave her paladin.Faith is hard. Friends are harder.





	if i liked being alone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kalgalen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalgalen/gifts).



> Title from the song _Company_ by Daisy the Great

Aphrodite is always there. Whether she’s lingering in the back of a room with a young couple, or laughing with a mother and her daughter, or smiling softly at two friends making fun of each other lovingly, Aphrodite is _always_ there. Azu can’t see her, of course, but she can feel her presence, draped about her shoulders like a heavy cloak. Azu prays quietly, and often. Azu prays, “I love my friends very dearly, please help me keep them safe.” 

And Aphrodite always answers. Not with words, not with any visual cue, but Azu can feel her goddess’s warmth falling over her. Azu can smile and know, without a shadow of a doubt, that Aphrodite is smiling back. “Thank you,” Azu says, “I love you.” And Azu knows, without a single heavenly sign, that Aphrodite loves her as well.  
_____

Poseidon is a bastard. It’s a well-known fact. He may be a god, but he’s remarkably human and remarkably petty. Zolf understands that he’s busy, so he tries not to lean on him too much. He’s a god, not a crutch. Zolf can manage. Sometimes, Zolf can feel his presence more strongly. When he picked up his trident from that beach, there was a surge of something like… affection? No. Just less anger than usual. Affection. Ha. “Thank you,” Zolf had sheepishly mumbled at the waves.

And Poseidon didn’t answer. Not that Zolf expected him to. Poseidon saved his life, and Zolf tries to repay him that debt by finding people worth drowning, and by spreading the good word, and all that. He still prays, every morning he can manage without feeling sick to his stomach. “I don’t know if you’re listening,” Zolf says, “but please, let them be okay.” And Zolf doesn’t know, without a sign or some sort of gut feeling, if Poseidon has taken his prayer under advisement.  
_____

Azu doesn’t quite understand the dwarf she’s been introduced to. When she meets someone of a different domain, she can feel Aphrodite retreating from them, attempting not to intrude. It is as close as she gets to gentle. The former leader – Zolf, he’d said with a forced, thin-lipped smile – doesn’t have any regalia on him. But still, Aphrodite fades. Just slightly, just enough to let Azu’s breathing stutter for a moment as she readjusts, just so that Zolf is unmistakably _chosen._  
_____

Zolf doesn’t say anything when he sees the paladin looking at him. What is there to say? He’s not even a recognisable cleric anymore. No trident, no holy symbol that he lets anyone see, no ornamentation. Azu still cocks her head at him, though, like a confused border collie. Poseidon doesn’t care about him anymore. Zolf can’t understand why the paladin does.  
_____

“He knows I care.”

Aphrodite is distracted, as she always is, finding flaws in her teacup and picking at them, making them worse. Nothing can ever be as beautiful as her. Poseidon clears his throat. She called him here to talk, but she hasn’t said a single word. She looks up at him, black (green? brown? they always change) eyes piercing his own. “Does he? What have you done to show him that?” Poseidon scoffs. Aphrodite raises an eyebrow, perfect pink (blue? white?) nails still chipping away at her cup.

Poseidon doesn’t look at her. She’s too pretty for her own good. “I saved him.”

“And? Do you answer his prayers? Listen to him?”

“I don’t need to listen to him. He knows I care.”

Aphrodite sighs. It’s a delicate sound. She has no right, pretending to be delicate. Aphrodite Ourania is not the goddess before him. But she is still the goddess that the paladin worships. The paladin. The paladin that Aphrodite is holding up as the ideal, as the way a worshipper should feel toward their god. It’s ridiculous. Poseidon’s cleric knows. He must know. He has to.

Aphrodite clicks her tongue. Her teacup hits the saucer with a dainty _clink_ that sets Poseidon’s teeth on edge. She doesn’t say anything more, and Poseidon dismisses himself.  
_____  
Aphrodite is quiet. She is never loud, but Azu can feel her thinking, can feel her usual warmth missing. “I don’t want to be too bold,” Azu tells her one morning, “but if you would like to, you can take a break from being near me. I understand. I am not your only responsibility. My love for my friends will be enough, even if you are too busy to help bolster me.” 

She feels a surge of _love_ and _appreciation_ and _warmth_ that Azu understands perfectly. “I’m not going anywhere,” she hears clear as day, as if the goddess said it in her ear. Azu smiles. Loving. Soft.  
_____

Zolf manages it, this morning, without feeling like he’ll vomit. “Hey,” he says into the void where Poseidon used to be, “good morning. I know I always ask that you keep them safe, but I think I’m back, now. So. When I say _them,_ I mean all four of them. Other paladins included. If you want to. Suppose it doesn’t matter.”

He feels something less volatile than fury, and it startles Zolf. He doesn’t understand. “It still does,” he hears, blurred as though from the bottom of a well. Zolf laughs. Shocked. Awestruck.  
_____

“Not a word,” instructs Poseidon, cleaning his trident. He doesn’t _want_ to use it on his little brother, but desperate times, desperate measures.

“Mm,” says Aphrodite, sharpening her nails into claws. She is Areia, The Warlike, and she is preparing for battle.  
_____

“Poseidon,” Zolf says. Azu blinks at him. “You were wondering what god I served. It’s Poseidon.” He cracks his knuckles. He doesn’t know how well his spells will do against an army.

“Aphrodite,” Azu answers. Zolf snorts. “I know it’s obvious, but I figured I should make it clear. Aphrodite Ourania, usually. Areia, at the current moment.” She finishes sharpening her great axe. She will keep her loved ones safe from the cultists at any cost.

And, for a moment, there’s something like kinship, in these very different patrons of these very different gods. For a moment, Zolf feels something like _warmth_ with none of his usual anger rushing to cover it. For a moment, Azu feels _affection_ with a fierceness that encompasses her.

For a moment, they understand the other.


End file.
